To Another Realm I

 

Here

 

In the shallows

Longing for More

And Love-Depth

And Height

And Length

Cries a heart off-key

Sync with Yours

Beat like Yours

Rise and fall

With wind unseen

The air of worlds

Only spirit can see

Too long the breath of  

Earth-fumes

Dust and ashes and decay

Powerless to pump

The heart life clean

Wintering

My soul a skinny branch

Upon the drought-worn tree

Trembling in whisper-wind

Un-leaved

And happy for the moonlight

And happy for burdens done

And happy for the cool nights

And happy for being bare

Beneath a gentle sun

And longing for the wet rain

Still hoping for solid strength

Calm now

Rest now

Not for striving up

 

but for

 

the digging of roots

 

deep down

Wait now

Rest now

Spring will come

Here I am

This is the second part of my last post "First Words" you can read here.


Here I am

May I greet the dawn, always, with these words! And greet the everyday routines of preparing meals, sweeping up crumbs, folding laundry, feeding dogs, and homeschooling with the same.

Here I am---Here. 

Now.

Conscious that the mundane moment in the gift, this heart, this breath is the gift. These eyes are a gift. These ears. These hands. This moment is an opportunity to SEE--to be fully alive and awake

May I carry that attitude with me when I meet my children; look into their eyes. Here I am, Zach, Sierra, Savannah. Your Mommy is here. Right here. With you. To listen, to play, to laugh, to pray.
I want to know you. 

May I carry that attitude with me when I greet my husband. Here I am, Love. For you. My heart, my soul, my body. I'm here. Not stuck in the mess of the afternoon squabbles or the grimy counters or the hope for a moment's peace to myself.  But for this moment, here with you.


Here I am.


Present in your presence

First words

When did the habit start?  I don't quite remember

maybe it just breathed from my spirit like a baby's first breath...

maybe it's that sometimes it's all I know to say...

"Lord, Here I am."

At least fourteen years ago that I can remember... and my first words of prayer they rarely change.


"Lord, Here I am."

I come to the moment.  The present-tense reality of the presence of God.

And for all the moments I've ever wished I was someone else, could stand in someone else's shoes...
for all the times when failures sting raw and I wonder if I can really come...if I even should...  Even then, yes, I come.

Here I am

And then many times...next words, next breath...

 "You know me."

Oh how He does.  He sees.   All that I want everyone else to see and they don't.  All that I don't want everyone else to see and they do. All the secrets of my heart. His eye knows invisible and visible.  He knows. 

"Darkness is as light to You" ~Psalm 139:12

He knows what I need.  He knows me truly, where I'm turning wrong, where I'm tangling up, where I'm syncing with His will, in step with His Spirit.  And so my heart cries,

"Search me O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if their be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" ~Psalm 139: 23-24

And He knows the burdens I'm carrying to Him.  The groaning of spirit to Spirit that I hope to find the words for.  The requests, the longings, the worries, the cares, the questions.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you." ~I Peter 5:6-7

He continually beckons 'COME.' 

"Come to me all who labor and are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." ~Matthew 11:28

And "can anything ever separate us from Christ's love?" (Romans 8:35).  He knows you.  And He loves you.  Through Jesus He's made eternal life to start now.  Here.  Dead becomes ALIVE.  Here, with Him.  Meet Him where you are in the grace of the Holy Spirit.

"And so we can boldly enter heaven's Most Holy Place because of the blood of Jesus." ~Hebrews 10:19
"Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts" ~Hebrews 4:7

"Here I am Lord,
You know me..."

Trust in the Him at all times, O people

pour out your heart before Him,

God is a refuge for us.

Psalm 62:8

Birthday Girl

Today is her day!  6 years ago, on a hot Friday afternoon, much like today, Savannah Rachel entered our world.  What a GIFT!

On the way to six, Savannah--

1.  Went through approximately six reams worth of scrap paper--drawing, drawing, drawing!

2. Learned to ride her bike!

3. Danced in her first ballet recital!

4. Spent most of her time in the pool under water--quite the swimmer!

5.  Lost her first two teeth!

6. Was still as generous and bubbly and ticklish and dramatic and fun-loving as ever! 

Unicorn Party Table from her celebration with friends over the weekend.

Little Savannah on the Prairie

Savannah, you are a delight to all of us!  "Wow!"  You are something special--your smile, your expressiveness, your twinkling eyes, your sensitive and generous heart.  You are a giver of joy and love and friendship.  I love your cuddles, the way you run like the wind and jump just for fun, how you laugh and laugh and laugh. I love that you love tickles and snuggles and stories and laughter. 

You are full of LIFE.

This is our birthday blessing to you, especially for this year, Savannah:  May you never be afraid; for you are never ever alone.  Jesus himself promised to be your Good Shepherd and never leave you or forsake you.  May you never let a frown-face stick.   Smile always because you are always loved, by us, by God, by all your friends (and animals).  May you keep on giving and sharing--You'll have the truest riches of all!  And may the Joy and Peace and Righteousness of God's kingdom be the path you walk on all your days!

*Savannah's pictures taken by Austyn Bailiff

Homeroom

Here it is.

When I first saw this room, before we moved here, before we even settled on homeschooling, I envisioned this.

Our 'homeroom.'

Oh!  I experience ever so much joy and satisfaction in organizing and decorating and preparing, in gathering books and setting the stage...and yet there is an even more important 'room' to attend to.

The 'homeroom' of my heart.

"Education is an atmosphere, a discipline, a life." ~Charlotte Mason

Yes, an atmosphere.  Not an atmosphere determined by Montessori learning tools or Waldorf art supplies or schoolroom posters or cute, coordinating decor.  But an atmosphere of a Spirit.  A Heart. A home culture. An attitude.

Whatever spills from my heart, they will soak up. What I pour out, they will drink. Intuitively.

It is, My Best Beloved, a matter of the kind of Spirit in these walls--(oh yes, Beloved, we are reading Just So Stories again and I'm thinking in Kipling language tonight...So!)--it's an atmosphere grown from a heart pouring out what's within.

What's in the homeroom of my heart?

Without the Holy Spirit of God filling all, dwelling, welcomed, honored here--it is but empty, wasted space.

Without His Word and Strength and the Fruit His Spirit bears through grace... this homeschooling routine will fail to bring forth the richness and culture and life that I desire it to.

Without love and compassion and gentleness and patience and joy and celebration and the leading of the Spirit of the Living God, I waste--and they will wither.

So I pray.

Lord, fill me with your grace and strength to help me.  You know I need it all the time.  I am weak--be strong in me. Help me to deal only love to my children.  Let my words, my reactions, my expressions, mirror you.  Fill the homeroom of my heart with Your Spirit again today.  And fill their hearts with your Spirit of wisdom and revelation.  Let them be receptive to your love and grace.  May our home be at atmosphere of your loving presence.  I know I will fail, so already I determine to fall on you again and always.  Help me when I stray and be ever showing me the way.  Amen.

Today is the Day

by Sierra

Today is one of these days...an everything's singing kind of day!  Weather's in the 70's, sun's shining, clouds rolling by with a cool breeze on their heels, birds and creatures flitting here and everywhere, shadows and sunrays dancing together across the deck.   Everything's sparkling.  Even my coffee tasted better for simply taking a sip outside.  Yes, it's a good day to be outside--"where the stink blows off." 

There are days for crying and anguishing. 

Days for meditating and silence. 

Days for working hard and sweating it out. 

And days like today, for singing praises and breathing the sunshine in!

Will we be content with Today--with what each day brings?

We can--for it's found in Him.

All's a gift no matter the package that wraps it.